|
My mind goes back to a conversation thirty years ago in the dining room of the rectory of Saint Dominic’s parish in Oyster Bay, my first assignment as a newly ordained priest. I was two years a priest and it was the dinner hour on Ash Wednesday that year.
I was tired, fussed, and edgy with giving Ashes that day on several occasions in two schools and even on the side-walk to importunate people who came outside of the announced schedule. I gave vent to my frustrations and snide observations concerning “A and P Catholics.”
Around that table were three other priests: my pastor at that time, a fellow curate, and an elderly retired priest who was helping us for the day. Of them all (to quote the Book of Job) “I only am left to tell thee”; the three of them all since having passed away into God’s Mercy.
When I had finished venting, the elderly priest said simply “There will come a day when we will miss them and all this…”
I said nothing but in my prideful youth I dismissed his remarks and even hoped that day would come soon.
Thirty years on that “day” has come and I am not happy about it.
Even in a parish of this size, the “demand” on Ash Wednesday is not as great as it was in my earlier and smaller-sized assignments.
Part of it is the general decline in all the indices of Catholic practice; but I wonder if some of it might have been the attitudes towards “A’s and P’s” that too many of us clergy and “elite” might have communicated?
“Liturgical correctness” insisting that Ashes can “only be distributed at Liturgies” and a condescending bowl of Ashes left on a table in the aisle at other times with a dismissive “help yourself” note on it, etc. Smirks, sighs, wise cracks even upon the faces and lips of clergy and parishioners, etc. all can have added to it.
It has taken me years as a priest to overcome my own aversion to the importunate, at times unreasonable and even unpleasant aspects of this day. It has been a growth in pastoral compassion and generosity that has been a work of God's grace in my soul that is by no means fully accomplished. And no doubt the “A’s and P’s” bear the main responsibility for that condition, and yes at times they can be unreasonable; yet I want to place as few obstacles as possible to any “bruised reed or smoldering wick”.
In this Parish I decided some years ago that since we are still blessed with five clergy of still reasonable health and vigor we would all “bite the bullet” and not only give Ashes at the Liturgies but also throughout the day and evening until 9 PM.
Yes, it is a bit of a “grind” and at near age 59 I find my energy and my legs are not what they used to be; and there is no guarantee that we will be able to offer this service indefinitely into the future; but for the time being we will continue.
I am under no illusion that there have been many “reverts” to the Faith because of this; but I do think that a number have been in some way impressed by the fact that they can come in to our church on Ash Wednesday and find a priest or deacon standing there to impose Ashes on them in a reverent manner in the name of the Church at their convenience and not just ours. I think of the many children and the elderly; the police men and women trooping in at their shift change to humbly receive Ashes; the nurses from Mid-Island, the passersby, and many others.
And what of us, you and me, my friend?
Our heart now needs to hear the stark reminder that accompanies the giving of Ashes drawn from the Book of Genesis: Remember, o man, that you are dust and unto dust you shall return.
All my fussing and edginess, dust.
Pride, laziness, pleasure-seeking ultimately dust.
Prayer….fasting…almsgiving….these are our weapons and our lifelines.
Prayer is what it says. Even that oft-derided “just saying prayers” is better than no prayer at all. Have I fallen out of the habit of daily prayer? If I am able, could I not attend daily Mass and more frequently practice the Sacrament of Penance?
Fasting is not only observing the mandatory fast and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and no meat on the Fridays of Lent ( thought that is better than nothing); but also putting aside some little physical or emotional indulgence that while not sinful perhaps makes us weak and cowardly in sacrifice or generosity ?
Almsgiving is a way of sharing material resources for the needy and poor. The Catholic Ministries Appeal would be a very good focus this Lent for that.
So, here we go…another Ash Wednesday.
Pray for us that we do our work well and that somehow we share Christ and see Christ even in the most unknown and unlikely soul.
|